Not often, but occasionally, I find myself having a ‘vision’ of an experience that I would like to make happen for our family. Not like a crazy voodoo-Indian-sweat-house kind of vision, but more like when you imagine ‘exactly’ how you want something to be. For example, this Halloween, I really wanted to make Andy a cool Knight costume. I used to love dressing up as a knight when I was a kid, playing with wooden swords and all of that. So anyway, I decided to inflict this vicarious fantasy on my son this Halloween.
I did some pretty serious preparation for this project. I got a bunch of cardboard from work. Bought some black spraypaint (Oh yeah, it was going to be the cool-evil black night baby!). I went to the toy store and bought a foam sword. I got a tailor’s measuring tape and fully measured Andy from head to toe. I sketched out a full suit of armor. I got down on my hands and knees in the garage and started cutting, and cutting, and cutting. I sweat, I slaved. I finally got a cool helmet and chest-piece made-up. The chest-piece even had these near strings to tie it together – I mean, it was cool! I then painted the helmet black.
Well after all of this work, I decided to try it on my son.
The second I got the helmet on Andy, he totally flipped out – crying, fighting to rip it off. He hated it. I was thinking to myself (ummm, OK this is a problem!) I tried a few more times over the course of the week and got nothing but the same reaction. Dejected, defeated and frustrated with my son, I shelved the costume.
After thinking about it, I realized that it was pretty foolish of me to expect he would like it. I started to consider that I should certainly be frustrated with myself, and that Andy was merely a victim in this delusional fantasy of mine. I thought about similar things my parents used to try and get me to do that I didn’t like. I am pretty sure all parents and kid’s have this relationship to some degree. Anyhow, it was funny to look back and compare my uber-excited anticipation against the actual outcome. So, no Knight costume this year. But hey, there is always next year right?
2 comments:
When Megan was Andy's age, I went out and bought a used bike and new kids bike seat. I had the "vision" of taking her for long, fun bike rides.
What I got instead was a screaming girl who wiggled her way out of the straps and almost jumped out! She now loves the bike rides, just as Andy will someday love that costume.
You're a great Dad! Keep it up!
Don't count on the fact that someday he will love the costume -sometimes no matter how good your intentions were - it won't be what he wants. Bummer - Yes, your a great Dad!
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